Stop Holding on to the Toxic People in your Life!
As humans, we don’t like change. Some more than others. I’ll be the first to admit that I hate change. With a passion. This often shows in our relationships with others and how we handle being hurt by other people. Not saying we shouldn’t forgive and move forward. People make mistakes, right? But when do we say, this is no longer a mistake; this is personality or intentional.
Newsflash: people will only do what YOU allow. Unfortunately, people will use you loving and caring for them, as their way to hurt and abuse you.
We will continuously deal with being lied to, cheated on, talked about, betrayed, having our feelings and needs neglected, etc. just for the sake of not having to start over. In other words, we will let people use the hell out of us and treat us any kind of way, just to keep from having to change the people around us.
Now I absolutely believe people can change. However, if this relationship has gone on for years... you really need to decide whether it’s going to be your happiness or the other person’s comfort?!
This goes for both friendships and relationships. Hell, breaking up with a friend hurts more than losing a relationship, sometimes.
Here are a few things to consider if you need to when deciding if a person needs to be removed from your life:
1.) Are you constantly there for them or making sure they’re comfortable; but when it comes to you, they can’t help or they aren’t there. I had to realize this for myself in friendships. Being an only child, I always wanted that sister relationship. Unfortunately, this caused me to taken advantage of due to me always going above and beyond for other people. I realized that I was friends with some people because I was RELIABLE. Simple as that. Some people deal with you because they can count on you to help them, but aren’t able to give that back to you. This may be hard to realize because we become use to them not coming through for us.
2.) Does being around a certain person negatively affect your energy or mood? I think this one is the easiest to ignore but can be very harmful. We all have a family member, friend, or even our partners can be draining as hell to be around. In no way am I saying cut someone off for being in a bad mood lol. However, be conscious of people who constantly dump their negative energy on you or drag you down in the dumps with them. Like that one phrase, “misery loves company”. These are often the people who find difficulty in being happy for you when you make accomplishments . While these people don’t always have to be cut off, I would definitely say limit your time around them. They want you and anyone else to be miserable with them. Don’t give them that satisfaction.
3.) Does your partner habitually cheat, lie, or make you question their actions or words? Whew Lord, I know nobody wants to hear this but, stop letting someone treat you any kind of way because you love them. They know that and yet they continue to hurt you. Some situations are more difficult than others to leave, but either you’re going to continue to be unhappy or make your happiness a priority. Ironically, because you’ve taken this kind of treatment repeatedly, the other person doesn’t fear that you will do anything about it. Think about what you deserve!
4.) Lastly but most importantly, are you being physically, verbally, or emotionally abused? I don’t have much to say besides these situations usually do not get better or end well. No one should endure this type of treatment! If someone is putting their hands on you, degrading you, making you feel worthless; leave! I know that’s easier said than done, but you can not have peace in these situations. The effects will only hurt you more and more. (Domestic Violence 24/7 Hotline 1-800-799-7233)
We all deserve to be happy and to have a peace of mind. Are you living your best life?