4 Things I Wish I Knew before I got Married
My husband and I celebrated our 4 year anniversary this month.
We both received wanted and unwanted advice before we said, "I do". However, there were some things that weren't mentioned lol. Here are the 4 things I wish someone would've told me before I got married:
1.) The people around you change. There's always so much talk of things being different once you get married. But I feel like no one brings up, how others around you will react. Some people go into marriage with family members and friends having ill feelings toward their partner, the wedding, or simply just the marriage in general. But these feelings aren't always revealed until later on. I can honestly say my relationships with other people changed after I got married. Not because I changed, but they changed. I began to see jealousy, negativity, and just pure "hateration" from those who I thought were happy for me. Sometimes it came out in conversation, some people distanced themselves, or my favorite they had a lot to say behind my back. Be mindful of how people react to the news of you getting married. Don't be surprised if those closest to you are the most envious.
2.) Newlywed weight- something my husband and I definitely weren't prepared for lol. It's kind of like when you gain "happy weight" from being in a new relationship, but worse. This definitely happens to couples who do not live together prior to getting married. For example, my husband loooooves sweets and I love carbs. So when we first moved in together, I started eating more sweets. My husband wanted dessert, so we both would have it. I love rice and pasta and would cook it a lot. We both ate a lot of rice and pasta, because that's what I cooked. Considering these are things you should eat in moderation, we both packed on the pounds. I would say be mindful of what and how you eat, but hey you're a newlywed!
3.) Having married friends are a MUST! Now, I'm not telling you to neglect your single friends, but having married friends are beneficial. I won't lie, I never knew what people meant when they said, "don't get advice from single people". I still don't agree with this statement, I feel that you can receive good advice from anyone with experience. However, I will say that the conversation is just different when talking to fellow married folk. It's nice to have someone who understands where you are coming from. 9 times out of 9, you have the same arguments as your other married friends: finances, household chores, intimacy, infidelity, and communication. While I think there are some things you should keep between you and your spouse, it's good to seek advice from others at times. I can honestly say I have learned a ton from those around me who are married, both young and old.
4. While remaining the same, you will constantly change. You will constantly have to make adjustments to your thinking, the way you do things, etc. For example, you may not be able to spend money the way you once did or you may need to clean more than what you did before. One major thing I am constantly working on (my husband as well) is how we communicate. It's important that both of you are on the same page and that disagreements aren’t lingering for days or weeks. Marriage is WORK! Be ready to change and get rid of those habits that you've had all your life lol. I'm not saying to not be yourself, but you must be considerate of your spouse and how things effect them.
What are some things you wish you knew before getting married?