Black Love Doc Takeaways (Ep. 1-3)
Let me first start off by saying I am in love with this show! I love that it brings light to the highs and lows of marriage. It explores all areas and the couples are open and honest about their experience.
Episode 1- Love Begins
In the first episode, many of the couples discussed how they met their partner and their process leading to dating. One thing they all seemed to have in common is that they just went with the moment. Often, we spend too much time questioning love and meeting people. While there is nothing wrong with assessing someone and the situation, but don’t talk yourself out of possible bliss due to fear and doubt. The couples demonstrated how important it is to just go with your gut when something feels right. Many of us have missed out on opportunities due to fear. I love that this documentary highlighted the positives of “giving love a try”.
The couples also discussed how they “didn’t have it all” when meeting their significant others. Sometimes people focus on the things/areas they are lacking, which in turn affects their confidence. Cory Hardict talks about being broke when he and Tia Mowry met. However, neither of them let that affect their feelings for each other. Viola Davis joked about having bad credit when she met her husband, Julius. Andre and Latoya Scott-Brown talked about dating after they both had previously been divorced. Life is imperfect. It’s okay to “not have it all” when you meet your love interest. It actually may show a lot about their character if they stick around during your “rough patch”.
Episode 2- Tripping Over Hurdles
The second episode hit on some heavy stressors that arise in marriage. The Black Love Doc explored everything from personality and race differences to money and fertility issues. The couples shared their emotions and how they got through those struggles. Flex and Shanice Washington talked about being evicted from their home due to financial struggles. A visibly emotional Flex, explained that he still wanted to buy his wife nice things even though he wasn’t bringing in the same income as before. They both stated leaning on each other and focusing on their kids, motivated them to improve their situation. Tamra and Akadius discussed how being raised differently affected the way they communicated and it caused problems for them. Tamra explained that Akadius is much more blunt and straightforward, while she feels delivery of a message is important. The couple discussed how they both had to adjust their methods of communication. Ashley Chea discussed how some of her husband’s Cambodian family did not accept her because she was a different race. However, she stated that she had to put herself in their shoes, as far as culture. Aonika and Sean Thomas shared how they experienced multiple miscarriages throughout the course of their marriage. Aonika shared that she even feared having to let Sean move on because she knew how bad he wanted to be a father. Sean’s love for wife never waivered. The couple now has 2 beautiful children.
This second episode definitely showcased the power of love and faith. It also demonstrated the importance of communication and not giving up on your significant other. Every couple experiences difficult times, but it’s all in how you work through it.
Episode 3 - Falling Down
This episode….whew!! It hit on every emotion possible. Couples discussed working through infidelity and how it effected their marriage. Erica and Warren Campbell discussed how their careers effected their marriage. The Campbells discussed how in the beginning, Erica was always on the road. Eventually this took a toll on their communication and marriage. Warryn spoke on how he started dating another woman and she became pregnant. However, she terminated the pregnancy. Erica and Warryn spoke on the challenges of regaining trust and how Warryn’s actions started change the woman Erica once was. The two saw both pointed out their faults, which I thought was brave of them.
Neil & Catrina spoke on Neil being a habitual cheater. They both agreed that Neil’s immaturity played a part in his decision making. They went through Neil going to parties, women calling their house...the whole 9! Eventually Neil moved to L.A. for his career, and Catrina felt this was her time. She showed him that he was fine, with or without him. The couple further discussed how it takes just as much time to regain trust as it took to break it. Neil spoke on how he didn’t rush Catrina to get over the past and he knew it was going to be a process.
Donna & Paul have a unique story. Paul discussed how being broke led to him selling drugs. Donna, however, did not want to be involved in that lifestyle. Not only was it dangerous, but Paul began messing with other women. Ready to end it, Donna asked for a divorce despite still loving Paul. They still communicated about their children, but their marriage was over. Paul’s lifestyle led to him being incarcerated. With time to think about his mistakes, he and Donna talked often. They rekindled their connection and eventually remarried.
Susan & Darrel Carr had a different story to tell. This couple did not discuss infidelity. The Carr’s lost their son to an unknown condition. The couple spoke on the birth and life of their son and how amazing he was as a person. The Carr’s reminised on feeling blessed to have experienced life with such a sweet child. They also talked about the difficulties on grieving the loss of their son. They did not have any other children. They talked about how leaning on each other helped them get through difficult times.
This episode showed their is life and happiness after infidelity. However, the most important thing to point out is that none of these men rushed their wives to forgive their transgressions. We often hear men say "She won't let go of the past," or "I already apologized." But they must understand it is hard to come back from broken trust.
The Carr's showed how grief can bring you closer to your spouse. Lean on each other in difficult times, don't pull away.
I cannot wait to see the finale! I wish this was longer than 4 episodes!
What did you learn from the documentary?